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The Gottman Institute, after decades of research, has identified that the "storyline" of an argument matters less than the "startup." Couples who begin a conflict gently—without criticism or contempt—are able to sustain their narrative. Conversely, couples who seek to win arguments destroy the shared plot.

Many people suffer because their personal narrative is disjointed. For example, a high-achieving executive might have a storyline that says "love is for the weak," so they sabotage intimacy. Another person might have a storyline that says "love means self-sacrifice," so they turn into a martyr. Sex.Hub.S01E02.480p.WEB-DL.x264.ESub-Katmovie18...

Consider the trope of the "adventurous couple" who travel the world, survive a zombie apocalypse, or solve a murder together. Their love thrives on external adrenaline. But what happens when the only mystery left is why the garbage disposal is making that noise again? The Gottman Institute, after decades of research, has